Title: My Coyote Ugly Life
Author: Jessica Spoon
Release Date: September 26, 2014
Genre: Adult, Romantic Comedy
“How on earth do I get myself
in these situations? I swear it’s like a never-ending bad dream. One of all my
mistakes that continuously bite me in my size ten ss.”
Azaria ‘Ree’ Gable had her one
experience with heartbreak and that was enough for her. She’s perfectly
satisfied with her ‘One Month Rule’ and doesn't need her life
changing anytime soon.
When circumstances take her
back home, she learns things have changed…
A lot…
First and foremost being with
the complete and astonishing overhaul and revamp of the Belton Police
Department, where apparently the application was changed to state ‘Ugly Men
Need Not Apply’ and the only requirement is ‘How Well Do You Look In This
Uniform?’
Ree unexpectedly catches the
eye of the new ‘gina-quiver inducing Chief of Police Grayson Cole, which starts
an endless game of cat and mouse.
Will Ree let go of her
misconceptions about relationships and allow Grayson to show her how beautiful
life can really be?
“Urmph,” I grunt out as I run
smack into someone, face- planting in their chest because I was more worried
about saving the rolls. “Sorr-,” I begin to say and cut myself off as my brain
registers the police badge that is pinned to the chest of the individual I
face-planted into.
Fuck.
Shit, fuck, fuck, fuckity,
shit-fuck!
My heart rate kicks up a notch
and my skin turns electric as my body starts to freak out; knowing, this is
when it’s time to run.
“Erm… sorry,” I raise my head
slowly, dreading looking at the guy, “officer…” my words trail off, not because
I’m speechless, but because I can’t breathe.
Did you hear me?
I.
Can’t.
Breathe!
Why can’t I breathe?
Because I know this guy! Omigod,
omigod, omigod!
“Azaria,” he says my name in a
deep rumbly voice that washes over my skin, making me feel like fairies are
dancing all over my body in jubilation, such is the epic-ness that is his
voice.
He leans his head down (way down,
because he is so much taller than me), I look up and notice a halo form around
his face from the sun shining in the window, his caramel colored eyes flash
with amusement as his perfect lips form a half smile. I suck in a breath. (Yep. I’m a fan of the half smile. Sign me
up, for I would love to have that mouth smiling against some very intimate
areas of my body.)
Oh, my God, he smells so good. My
body, completely of its own accord (I swear!) moves closer to him, making it
easier to get a better whiff of whatever body wash it is that makes me want to
take a chunk out of him with my teeth. My ‘gina begins to quiver; the walls
vibrating with fury at not having him the other night.
His head moves to the side of
mine where he whispers, “I missed you the other morning.” Holy donkey nuts his
voice is sexy.
Oh. My. God.
This can’t be happening. Nope.
Not happening.
No way.
“O- officer,” I stumble over my
words trying to think of something to say, and reminding myself that this,
after all, is a cop.
Not just any cop, of course.
Nooo…
According to his nameplate he is
‘Chief Cole’. Are you kidding me!?
Why couldn’t he just be a gentleman and ignore the whole situation like a
normal American!? No, he goes straight for it. Don’t hold back.
Jerk.
Okay, now how do I play this? I
obviously can’t use the whole ‘Do I know you?’ routine. My ‘gina quiver made
sure of that. I can’t just walk out and ignore him… Can I? Hmm…
I don’t think, I’m capable of
pulling off the whole ‘Show-
respect-to-the-officer-because-I’ve-had-too-many-run-ins-with-
the-law-and-I’m-a-bad-person’ routine either.
Okay. Well, that only leaves one
option.
I step back, straighten my purse
on my shoulder, get a better grip on my box of rolls and look him straight in
the eye (with a polite, yet detached voice and face) and say, “Chief Cole. Nice
to see you again.”
And, ever so elegantly, I step
around him and head out the door.
Whew! Close one.
“Azaria, wait.”
Shit. He followed me outside! Now
what do I do?
Keep walking.
Yep. Just… keep… walking.
“Ree,” he says as his fingers
wrap around my upper arm, halting my awesome walking away skills.
He turns me around to look at him
and I do a quick peripheral scan of the area to see how many onlookers we have
to what is about to go down; not many. Yet.
“Did you really just walk away
from me… again?” he asks astonished.
“Did it look like I walked away
from you?” I ask, feeling a bit like a society snooty bitch and deciding to go
with it.
I notice a few people start to
come out onto the sidewalks to see what is going on. Great. Well, they were bound to learn that I moved back sometime.
May as well give them the show they expect from me.
“Yeah. It did,” his voice and
face are completely serious.
“Oh, well. Then I guess I did,” I
shrug my shoulders and smile at him, this time sounding more like a dingbat valley
girl.
Someone
call the shrink! Chief Cole is giving Ree Dissociative Identity Disorder!
My first book, Darkness Deserved, released
July/2013. It is the first book in the Shattering the Darkness Series.
I'm crazy and love my friends, family and booze. Yes. Booze. (Don't judge me.)
I used to never read when I was growing up. My mother always tried to get me to read and I wanted no part in it. I figured why read when it's going to be a movie. (Yes, like I said crazy.)
Well a few years ago I jumped on the Twilight band wagon. I've always loved supernatural movies and when I saw the previews I knew I wanted to see it. And see it I did. I immediately went out and bought the books and became hooked.
They came to me at a very special time in my life.
I discovered I loved to read and found my nitch in the paranormal and romance genre. I started a book club with a cousin and all of a sudden these thoughts kept assaulting my brain.
So I wrote them down. Then, deciding that I wanted to write, I contacted some wonderfully amazing women who helped me through the process. This is the result.
I love Breccan and Harper and hope you all do as well. The book is dark and graphic. It pushes the boundaries and will make you cry, (hopefully) laugh and (hopefully) fall in love.
I'm crazy and love my friends, family and booze. Yes. Booze. (Don't judge me.)
I used to never read when I was growing up. My mother always tried to get me to read and I wanted no part in it. I figured why read when it's going to be a movie. (Yes, like I said crazy.)
Well a few years ago I jumped on the Twilight band wagon. I've always loved supernatural movies and when I saw the previews I knew I wanted to see it. And see it I did. I immediately went out and bought the books and became hooked.
They came to me at a very special time in my life.
I discovered I loved to read and found my nitch in the paranormal and romance genre. I started a book club with a cousin and all of a sudden these thoughts kept assaulting my brain.
So I wrote them down. Then, deciding that I wanted to write, I contacted some wonderfully amazing women who helped me through the process. This is the result.
I love Breccan and Harper and hope you all do as well. The book is dark and graphic. It pushes the boundaries and will make you cry, (hopefully) laugh and (hopefully) fall in love.
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